You know how we knock ourselves around when we’re young, and think we’ve got away with it? It’s an illusion. It may look as though we bounce back from bangs, bruises, and breaks, with no harm done (or not much, for the most part), but the knocked around bits bide their time. Then, as we age, the sneaky sods make a long-awaited appearance.

To be fair, what is youth and the subsequent years, though, if we don’t acquire a few bangs, bruises, and breaks? We may not all be cut out to be explorers in Antarctica, but even within our own smaller realms a life lived too safely is not a life explored. As irksome as it is when the knocked around bits begin making us reluctantly aware of them, they are part of the story that got us to where we are.

For the last several years, my lower back gets aggrieved when I bend over. I have no idea why, and to be honest I can’t be faffed investigating the reasons too much, because, so far, it’s sort of manageable. I do know that at some stage in my youth I broke my tailbone, but when that actually happened remains a mystery. Obviously, I bounced back from it, and I don’t even know if it’s connected to my current back grievances, but I like blaming that, because it appeals to me as a better story than the real less story-worthy one might be.

That (better?) story is rooted in an incident from when I was about fifteen years old. I was riding a horse and took a dive off him when he tripped, and nearly went down, whilst cantering. He righted himself, and booted me in the back as he ran over me. I suppose it might have hurt a lot more if I’d got a boot in the head, as I wasn’t wearing a riding helmet, of course. Admittedly, I didn’t jump back up straight away after that, but neither did I languish for too long, and was soon back in the saddle. Many years later, an x-ray for a different reason showed up that my tailbone had been broken long ago, and I choose to think it happened back then, because I like that version.

Anyway, these days my lower back not only stores the story of something, or somethings, which happened in my life, it makes it known there’s a story there – which also makes the vacuuming a pain. Houses in New Zealand tend to have carpet all throughout them, apart from the kitchen and bathroom, so there’s a fair bit of vacuuming to do. In contrast, houses in Aussie tend to only have carpet in the bedrooms, if they have it at all, so a lot of the house is just swept with a dry mop or broom. Funny story about that – my twin grand-nieces were born in Aussie (they now live in NZ), and on their first visit to NZ were very bemused at this stuff great-nana had covering the floor – lol!

Anyway, I got the idea into my head that an upright vacuum cleaner, as opposed to the pull-along one I had, could be easier on my back, as I might be more upright myself when using it. So, I called Elliot for some advice. Elliot is basically the world’s best ten-year-old expert on vacuum cleaners. I kid you not – I wrote about him here in Jan 2022, if you’re interested in more context.

After some probing questions about the reason I was interested in an upright vacuum cleaner, Elliot pretty much had my issue sussed. A long story ensues from here, but cutting to the chase, I ended up buying a pull-along Miele. The upright vacuum cleaner didn’t encourage me to be as upright as I thought it might, whereas, strangely, the pull-along Miele did. As well as it being something to do with the design of the handle on the hose, I think the solid part of the hose is longer, so I didn’t find myself bending my back as much when vacuuming with it. I think the cheaper vacuum cleaners may cut their costs by, amongst other things, having shorter hoses, which makes one bend over more when using it.

If none of that makes any sense, never mind. At the end of the day, I’ve got a new Miele vacuum cleaner, it’s easier on my back to use for whatever reason, and Elliot tells me if I look after it properly, it should last me twenty years. Yes, I did the mental arithmetic of my age from here to there – I’ll say no more about that. And I got my Miele at sale price, because Elliot is on top of all that, too, and knows how much every vacuum cleaner is, and when and where it’s on sale.

Elliot’s a gifted child in other areas besides vacuum cleaners, so one day when he’s in charge of designing the vacuum systems in rockets which go into space, I’ll say to people that I knew him once. Then I’ll tell them the riveting story about my vacuum cleaner😊