Let’s be clear on how a pregnancy doesn’t happen: a woman’s eggs don’t invade a man’s testicles, take his sperm hostage, and fertilise themselves with their unwilling victims. Unless a man is the victim of a sexual assault by a woman, he freely ejaculates into her, and one of his sperm takes up residence in the woman’s egg. Until then, a woman’s eggs are just doing their own thing, and minding their own business in their own home.

If a woman wants to have that fertilised egg removed from her body, suddenly everyone’s got an opinion on whether she should be allowed to do that, or not. Her body becomes public property, subject of whether or not she is morally obliged to let that fertilised egg grow inside her, irregardless of her own wishes. The anti-abortion brigade vilify and condemn her with great gusto; they try emotional blackmail; they picket outside abortion clinics; and they pass draconian legislation that criminalises her if she seeks or gains an abortion. The man’s ejaculation is totally overlooked, if it is even remembered that there actually was one that started all this. The anti-abortion brigade don’t target men, because they don’t grow the foetus inside them (dodged a bullet there, guys), and plus men might punch them in the face.

Women are given a huge amount of ‘advice’ on how they need to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. This advice still leans heavily on the side of being mean-spirited, and puts the onus of moral conduct squarely in the woman’s court. Conversely, there is a huge amount of SILENCE around giving men ‘advice’ on sperm control, in order to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. So much silence, in fact, that sperm control doesn’t even occur to many men as a way to prevent pregnancies. And if it does, it can’t be seriously considered if there’s any possibility it might slightly reduce the maximum pleasure they can get from sex. Of course, it’s okay for a woman to not always get maximum pleasure.

A man’s sperm, and where it does or doesn’t go, is completely in a man’s control. A woman, on the other hand, has no control over her eggs. Those things have their own agenda. They could be having a party, and a woman wouldn’t necessarily know it. Mostly, the eggs live their life unobtrusively. Unlike sperm, which yell and scream to be let out of the testicles, and generally create a ruckus until they get released. A man knows that those sperm are going to break out sooner or later, and a nice warm orifice, like a woman’s vagina, is just the ticket to ejaculate them into.

Yet women are considered the ‘guilty’ party if an unwanted pregnancy occurs. What happened to the man’s sperm? Does that part of the equation just fade away into thin air, because the pregnancy occurs inside a woman’s body? It seems like we just blow (pardon the pun) on past the act of ejaculation, and focus on what occurs as a result, as though the act of sperm storming a woman’s eggs is just by-the-by.

I have heard men bemoaning being trapped into parenthood and child support, because the woman they had sex with decided to keep the child that ended up being created from that sex. It honestly didn’t occur to them that they could have prevented that pregnancy their very own selves. It’s as though they didn’t equate their orgasm with ejaculation, and then feel badly done by when a baby unexpectedly gets made. Newsflash – a man’s orgasm carries risk, whereas a woman can merrily orgasm all day, and no-one gets hurt. The only risk is that she might not get her work done.

True, women can lie about being on contraception, whether single or in a relationship. As an aside, issues of trust between couples is a different thing. But, here’s another thing, regardless of what a woman says about taking contraception, if a man reallyreallyreally doesn’t want to become a parent, then sperm control lies with him. If contraception fails – and it does – then that is one of the reasons women should have the right to abortion. That’s over and above the fact that they should have the right to choose what they do and don’t use their bodies for, anyway.

When a sperm is launched into a woman’s womb and wiggles its’ way into an egg, a zygote is created, then an embryo forms, which incrementally develops into a non-sentient foetus, and then into sentience around 24 weeks when the neural connections and cognitive function take place (a heartbeat is not a sign of sentience – it is an electrical impulse, and a battery could perform the same function). Eventually, if left to grow, the foetus pushes its’ way out into the world. If this not the desired outcome from that ejaculation months ago, then months ago would have been a good time to exercise sperm control.

No, preventing unwanted pregnancies isn’t all up to men, but a pregnancy begins with a man’s sperm. Nothing happens until that sperm makes contact with the egg. Keep that sperm away from a woman’s eggs, unless contact is desired and mutually agreed upon, and I’m willing to put money on it that the abortion rates will plummet. That’s what I’d call a win for everyone.